12-Year-Old Child Development Milestones (2024)

During the tween years, your child inches closer every day to being a full-fledged teenager. Immense changes happen during theteen yearsfrom growth spurts and acne to increasing independence and focus on friends. Typically, 12-year-olds have moments of both acting like the child you have always known and suddenly turning into a little adult right in front of you.

This is the time to make sure your child has the skills they need to thrive during their teenage years. Read on to discover how to prepare for the physical, social-emotional, and cognitive development that happens for 12-year-olds.

12-Year-Old Language and Cognitive Milestones

A 12-year-old’s brain may have stopped growing in size, but it’s nowhere near done developing. Here are some things you may notice:

Reasoning is more complex

Abstract thinking,problem-solving, and logic are all becoming easier.

“They show improvement in reasoning and information processing as they continue to mature,” says Chris Cardona-Correa, MD, a pediatrician at Children's Minnesota in West Saint Paul. “The young adolescent may demonstrate the capacity for long-range planning and the ability to consider other points of view and feelings, and this capacity continues to develop as they grow older."

They may be impulsive

However, the prefrontal cortex, which is the part of the brain that plays a role in impulse control and organizational skills, is still maturing. So don’t be surprised if your 12-year-old engages in some potentially impulsive or risk-taking behavior.

Say hello to sarcasm

By 12, most children have a strong command of language and communication skills. They are able to think beyond literal interpretations, and proverbs and idioms won’t fly over their heads anymore. You will probably get your first taste of sarcasm and teen slang, and they will understand the tone and the actual language in a conversation, says Jen Trachtenberg, MD, a board-certified pediatrician and parenting expert from New York.

12-Year-Old Physical Development

By 12, many kids with ovaries have started puberty. It's alsoright at the beginning of the typical age that kids with testicl*s start going through puberty as well.However, exactly when puberty begins depends on genetics, sex, and a range of environmental factors.

“Early adolescence is a time of many physical changes,” explains Dr. Cardona-Correa. “At age 12, many adolescents are beginning to show signs of puberty—new smells, hair growth in new places, acne, growth spurts.”

Here are some physical milestones you may notice in 12-year-olds:

• Breast development
• Hair growth
• Start ofmenstruation
• Penisand testicl*s getting bigger
• Facial hair growth
• Muscle growth
• Voice deepening

While these changes are physical, they can have psychological impacts on your 12-year-old, too.

“For many adolescents, these changes can be stressful or uncomfortable,” explains Dr. Cardona-Correa. “The physical changes the early adolescent experiences often create a stage of self-focus that itself may lead to concerns and psychological distress.”

You can support your child through their transition into adolescence by talking with them them about what to expect and reassuring them about the process. If you haven’t already, now is the time to initiate open conversations surrounding the normal physical changes they will encounter.

12-Year-Old Emotional and Social Milestones

Teenage emotions are no joke, and you will probably get a taste of the wild ride over the next year. Twelve-year-olds love their parents but also seem to want nothing to do with them, andfriendsbecome more important than ever.

Here are some social-emotional milestones to watch for in 12-year-olds:

Friends are a big deal

“As early adolescents are beginning to separate from family, the adolescent will be more dependent on peer groups for support,” says Dr. Cardona-Correa. Peer groups are usually associated with strong solitary friendships with the same gender that at times can seem intense. Your 12-year-old may also be interested in developing romantic relationships and friendships with all genders.

Developing a sense of identity

Around now, your child will begin to explore their sense of personal identity. Dr. Trachtenberg says they will begin exploring topics of interest more in-depth and have a more heightened level of self-consciousness, becoming more independent and seeking their own solutions rather than asking for adult assistance. However, it is still important for them to feel like they belong. This often means findingindependencefrom parents and other family members, but with that comes the risk ofpeer pressure and complicated friendship dynamics.

Budding leadership skills

Your child will also start to develop leadership skills and understand the idea ofgiving backto the community. Encourage these skills by letting them take part in decision-making processes in the home and supporting involvement in community or school activities.

Exploring different ideas

Many 12-year-olds begin exploring the morals of their peer group. Don't be surprised if your 12-year-old announces they want to adopt a new lifestyle so they can live like their friend's family or that they want to explore a new religion or spirituality. Exploring morality is a normal part of the development process.While it's important to explain your morals and establish rules that promote morality in your household, don't worry too much when your child says they don't agree with your beliefs. It's all a part of them developing their own identity.

How to Help Your 12-Year-Old Learn and Grow

It's natural to feel as though your preteen is pulling away from you. However, showing an interest in their friendships, hobbies, and opinions will help you stay connected throughout their transition into adolescence and beyond.

"Be present," advises Dr. Trachtenberg. "Have them invite friends to your house, and let them express their individuality without comment or shaming [and] be supportive."

Here are some ways to support your 12-year-old:

Maintain a close connection

This will make it easier to tackle any difficult conversations that may come up, such as theirgrowing sexuality. This isn't the time to turn a blind eye, so talk to your child's health care provider if you need advice on how to broach the subject of sexuality with your child." Talk about difficult and often tough topics frequently, adds Dr. Cardona-Correa.

Stay on top of school concerns

Additionally, school may become increasingly challenging for your 12-year-old. Stay in contact with your child’s teachers—without becoming a nuisance—and remain active in their academic life. Don’t wait until the report card comes home with a bad grade to ensure that your pre-teen is performing well academically. If there are academic issues, find the root cause rather than get upset, as it could be anything from aneye problemto alearning disability.

Maintain house rules and responsibilities

"Home family routines and family time [are] important," says Dr. Trachtenberg. Create a supportive environment at home while maintaininghouse rulesandresponsibilities. Your 12-year-old will likely resent any boundaries you attempt to lay down, so be prepared for push-back."Be a parent and not a pal," advises Dr. Cardona-Correa. "But choose your battles carefully."

Encourage healthy habits

Nutrition, exercise, and sleep continue to be important to your children. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends eight to 10 hours of sleep for a 12-year-old, so now isn't the time to ditch their bedtime routine.Set clear boundaries for any electronic devices they use and encourage your tween to stay active, even if they’re not into organized sports. Tweens should get 60 minutes or more of physical activity daily.

How to Keep Your 12-Year-Old Safe

Safety goes beyond just the physical at this age. Keep the communication channels open and available to your 12-year-old. Your child is establishing their independence, but that could result in them experiencing situations that they're not ready for or don't know how to deal with. That includes all that goes along with peer pressure. Let them know that they can always talk to you.

Here's what to watch out for when raising your 12-year-old:

Communication needs

Even though your tween is establishing their independence, they still need to know that their parents are available for support. Talk frequently about the things your 12-year-old would like to be able to do on their own and continually make compromises when it feels appropriate.

"Communication is key," says Dr. Trachtenberg. "Ask open-ended questions [and] listen, don't just offer advice."

Signs of mental health issues

At 12 years old, your child may feel uncomfortable or self-conscious about their changing body. While this is common, keep a close eye on any changes in their eating patterns or any signs that they feel negative about their appearance.Eating disordersare common among this age group, so it's important to check in with how your child is feeling about their body.

Monitor screen time

Of course,screen timecontinues to be an activity to monitor during the tween years. Stay in the loop on how much screen time your 12-year-old is using, and installparental controlsto ensure they only have access to age-appropriate material.

Social media safety

While most tech companies require a minimum age of 13 for users, your child will likely have already broached the topic ofsocial media and smartphone use with you. As well as adhering to company guidelines, other ways to help keep your child safe on social media include settingclear limitationsand helping them navigate it positively. But proceed with caution: Once your child has their own social media account, they are then at risk ofcyberbullying.

When to Be Concerned About Your 12-Year-Old

Physical and emotional development don’t always go hand-in-hand when a child is becoming a teenager. Don’t be concerned if your child doesn’t seem emotionally ready for activities that others their age are doing, or vice versa.

Mental health issues, such as depression or cell phone addiction, can pop up at this time, so it's important to keep an eye out for any warning signs, including:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• A change in eating patterns
• Sleep issues
• Isolation from friends
• Loss of enjoyment or refusing to participate in activities they previously enjoyed
• Sudden rage
• Angry outbursts

Discuss any concerns about your 12-year-old’s health or mental well-being with a pediatrician or mental health provider. If you have concerns about a tween’s academic life, such as their inability to keep up in class, schedule an appointment with their teacher. They often have resources to help you and may be able to offer insight that you might not have considered.

"The developmental milestones of adolescence can vary somewhat from person to person," says Dr. Cardona-Correa. "I recommend to parents, whenever there seems to be a concern about behavior or development, to always remember to keep the lines of communication open between you and your adolescent." That includes staying closely aligned with your tween’s emotional state of mind.